Weird World Captions

Nigel and Paula were a few glasses of wine in, and returning to the same topic they had a 1000 times before

"I simply will never comprehend the male obsession with the breast. A pound or two of mammary gland and fat - maybe even silicone - and you simply can't stop thinking about them. Or looking at them" She said as she caught Nigel's eyes drifting to her chest

"Of course, far more bizarre than the female phallic desires. A veiny rod above a flap of elbow skin, and yet to be the basis for entire bachelorette parties and a million sex toys. But yes, the male gaze is the confusing one" He replied with a smirk

"You'll never understand" They said in tandem, however instead of their usual bout of laughter that followed, there was a crack and a puff of smoke behind them on their bed. 

They turned, and were shocked

"Oh. My. God. I will, like, totally help with that!" The fairy on their bed said in an absurdly high pitched voice

Nigel and Paula simply stared open mouthed for a while at the magical appearance, before Paula said

"Well where on Earth has she come from"

"Hm, I don't believe we should be using she, shouldn't be assuming genders of... strange magical beings as much as humans"

"Oh quite right. So how did they ge-"

"OH MY GOD SHUT UP" The fairy yelled in annoyance

The two snapped to attention at the sudden outburst

"I, like, came here because you asked for help, and now you're just talking all long for no reason. You're barely even looked at my cute little titties or my pretty little cock. You, like, totally need my help most of all okay"

"Help with... what?" Paula asked hesitantly

"Um... are you a dummy? I'm gonna help you guys understand why dicks are so nice, and why boobs are so great! Okay? You agree?"

The two exchanged quick glances. This was a risk, but... surely a once in a lifetime opportunity. Nigel turned to reply

"I believe, considering the circumstances, we'd certainl-"

"OH MY GOD. GOOD. YOU'LL DO IT. I GET IT. Ugh. You take so long to say stuff... no more talking tonight. Okay? Just fun! LET'S GO!"

And with a wave of her suspiciously cock-shaped wand, the fairy was gone, and the changes had begun. The first one happening immediately

" " Paula tried to say

" " Nigel tried to reply

They both looked shocked as they realised that command was for real. Paula ran to the bathroom to check her throat leaving Nigel alone. He was shocked, and simply sat on the bed trying to process the last 5 minutes, when he suddenly felt a warm tingle across his entire body. He writhed as he felt his entire form begin to change. Bones shrinking, hair growing, hips expanding. He groaned as he felt a burst of pressure in his chest, like someone had attached a pump to it. Woosh. Another, and now his previously masculine chest had a pair of B-cups. Woosh. Bigger again. 

Staring at a pair perfect expanding tits had got him all riled up, and looking past his new cleavage he saw a new, hard cock. It was different to his old one. This one was somehow... better. Though when he thought of his old cock now, it was in a new light. A strong, pulsating thing it was. Beautiful in the right light. 

Oh god. He'd never thought like that. Why was he so turned on? He simply sat panting, waiting for his girlfriends return

Paula had gone through a similar experience. Her old body gone, replaced with a hyper sexualised one. She swore she'd grown taller as well. Or at least, she assumed so, because she must be fairly tall to have such a big dick

And as if it's appearance wasn't strange enough, it had immediately sprung to attention when she'd seen her new, round fake tits. She'd taken a little while simply examining them, beguiled by their beauty. They looked so perfect. Why were two gorgeous orbs having such an effect on her? Something instinctual simply said "I love tits". And she did

She decided to see if the same had happened to Nigel, and was momentarily stunned when entering. She was still pale and ginger, he was unrecognisable. She tried to look at more of him, but she found herself staring simply at his chest, occasionally tearing herself away to lick her lips and stare at his cock. If she'd managed to make any eye contact at all, she'd have noticed her husband doing the same. 

With no words possible, they began simply

But soon enough, built up desires overtook them. Though Paula was still shocked when Nigel took the initiative on grabbing cocks

A night of passionate exploring, blow jobs, tit wanks and anything else that came to mind had left them both nearly comatose and, more importantly, full of understanding for the others obsession. 

They passed out, happy and spent, having enjoyed their one strange night.

Until Paula woke up, stretched, saw her tits, and started tenting the bed sheets with her new hard on. 

She looked slapped herself, hoping to wake from a dream. She then noticed a slip of paper on the bedside cabinet. By now Nigel had risen, and was equally concerned about waking up still with a pair of boobs. They read the note side by side

"I bet you had a ton of fun! So, why stop? I was gonna reverse it last night, but when I came back you were still sucking and fucking and just so, like, in love! You can thank me later. And I'll let you speak again, but, like, no more stupid long stuff okay"

Nigel and Paula couldn't believe it. It was fun for one night, but surely they couldn't live like this.

"Oh. Em. Gee. I cannot beli-" Paula stopped, her voice was high pitched and breathy... just like the fairys. And why was she using such strange vocabulary

Nigel was letting out an adorable giggle

"You sound like such a, like, dummy" He said, then froze as he heard his own Betty Boop tone. 

"Well, like, you're a dummy just like me I guess" Paula said, crossing her arms victoriously, before having to adjust, forgetting how big her new chest was

"Ummm, no way. I'm, like, a profedd... pofess... I'm, like, a learning guy!" Nigel said, he couldn't believe how absurd he sounded

At that moment, they both realised they should probably check what else had changed beside their body and speaking patterns, and both discovered that while the pictures on their various IDs had changed, nothing else had. Seemingly, reality had warped so that their appearances were normal now.

They both realised they were late, and quickly began to try and dress. However issues quickly arose

"Uggghh. Like, how am I meant to hide this thing?" Paula said in frustration "I wanna, like, tuck it, but it's so hard and hot all the time cos I keep seeing my big, bouncy titties" She grabbed them and shook with a delighted smile

"Wait... My perfect boobies keep making me all hard too, but these panties are fitting. Wait. Have I got a small cock?" Nigel said, surprised at his genuine fear 

"Baby, baby, baby nooooo" Paula said, coming over to comfort him "You got a great cock okay, it's just, like, smaller than mine. Plus you're smaller in general"

She said this matter of factly, Nigel hadn't been compared dicks up to now, but he had noticed that their normal physical relationship had swapped. His wife now towered a good few inches over him, in both departments.

After a quick mutual hand job, all that talk of yummy cock had got them both in the mood, the two headed off for work.

And both returned with their heads held low

It turns out while the fairy had altered reality so that they looked normal, she'd forgotten to stretch that to the new speaking pattern she'd given them. Nigel had tried to lead a class on quantum physics by describing "Um, like, space is, um, big", meanwhile Paula had bungled the most important sales pitch of the year by presenting "Almond milk, but like, we put a cute little cock on the carton"

Neither went down well

"I GOT, LIKE, FIRED! SO STUUUPID!" Paula yelled

"OH MY GOD. ME TOO. JUST FOR, LIKE, TALKING FUNNY! THAT'S LIKE. DISCRIM... DICRIN... THAT'S LIKE RUDE!" Nigel responded

The two vented, before turning their anger into another rough love making session. 

It was during this, a light switch went in both their heads

"ONLYFANS" They yelled in unison

With their heightened libido, and unique situation, it wasn't long before they were financially better off from porn than they ever were at their jobs

And late night, after a few glasses of wine, a familiar but different conversation started

"Titties are TOTALLY cuter, what the fuck, obviously. Look how perfect they are." Paula said 

"I'm not saying, like, titties aren't super fucking hot, okay. I'm just saying there's no way they cuter than a hard cock, straining to be free of some panties, ohmygod. The best" Nigel replied, long since accepting his new found desires

"You'll never understand" They said in tandem, and broke into giggles